I am not gone, dead, or the in-between. I am still here, and this time I'm back feeling better than I have in more than a year. Now I finally realize why this used to be everything to me, and why it meant so much to me to keep you all in the loop of things. I am kicking my depression, and I'm only going to focus on what needs to get done. No more wallowing and no more thinking; it's about time that I start doing something about it. I'm done being a person I never wanted to be, and it's time to return to who I AM supposed to be. Somebody with no care in the world but for what matters.

    With that, and careful thought and consideration, I'm now returning for good. I will return with the artwork that I've completed and more when summer break starts, which is on June 4th (this next Friday). Once I can get into a clear schedule in a new house with set times and dates for things, then it will be much, much, MUCH easier to fit my passion in there, as well. I will be able to regularly work on projects and keep everyone updated as to what's going on. I'm going to start drawing a lot more cartoons, I'm sure, and I will now (after we're through with this damn house) have a studio to work in. Lots of hopes and reams are now able to be, and I'm just so excited!

    Another subject that I would like to bring up, that I think would give a lot more perspective as to part of why I've been so down, is a very serious topic. As to many who have been keeping updated throughout the course of this year, many of you would know that on July 21st, 2014, my mother, Marisa L. Martin, passed away from dilated cardiomiopathy. I never wanted people to know (other than the ones that I've already told) because it would be nothing but an extra concern for everyone else, but this has been a weight on my shoulders for quite some time now. In a lot of ways, I feel like this past year hasn't been spent improving at all. In fact, a majority of it was spent letting our mother down (in my personal opinion). I'm just grateful that we get to at least see our siblings this summer and do better in school.

    Because of thoughts like this, this past year hasn't been horrible. I've learned a lot, and now I'm ready to make change for everyone (and not just myself). Sure, while the things that were going on at home weren't making anything any easier, that wasn't necessarily the one major thing I'm going to end up looking back on. I think, our of everything, I'm going to look back on moments like today. The amount of content I feel with everything that's happened to me right at this particular moment is indescribable at the least, just for the sheer fact that I've felt this very bliss in my life before.

    It's not ignorance, but yet my awareness that's making everything so worthwhile. I feel like if I keep this up, that I won't be putting my mother down any longer (along with all of the pain she must still be feeling already). I want to make her proud, and know that she is. I want to always feel, as I do now, that sh'es always here, watching over us. No matter what, I always want to be the person I'm meant to be. Not the person other's have been wanting from me for a whole fucking year now, but the person that I have been happy with and will always be happy with. I feel like if the people that I love and care about can just deal with all of the trouble that we've been faced with consistently, that it would be so much easier for everybody to finally live a healthy, normal life like we should be. I've never seen that throughout my whole life, but for once, a normal life would be worth all of the shit we've had to deal with.

    I leave you with a thought... Don't lose hope. No matter what you may be facing today, all it takes is patience. It make not be easy, but with time, it WILL get easier. It used to piss me off to hear that from other people, but now that I really think about it, it's more true than anything you could be told when you're in pain. Also, appreciate the small moments to your fullest; because, at the end of the road, they are the one thing you'll be able to look back and see. Don't worry, because all of that becomes meaningless once it's solved. After that, it's nothing but a life lesson. Live and learn; don't forget the ground you walk on, so you know what further road to pave in the long run. One last thing: Find balance. The perfect blend between chaos and peace is the one thing that's going to give you the wisdom and strength to fight on further battles. Believe in your own ability, and nothing else can knock you down.

See you all soon!

Gabe